Most Important for you


The first fight I can remember with my wife was over a misplaced pair of tickets to a New York Mets baseball game. I’m generally the more forgetful member of the family, so it shouldn’t have come as a shock to me that my wife would accuse me of misplacing them. But this time I wasn’t having it. I felt disrespected, and my normally easygoing manner went into hiding along with the tickets.
“What? Is your memory perfect?” I said. “How do you know that you didn’t lose them? Why do you assume that this is my fault?”
Before long, the fun afternoon we had planned began to unravel.
Marriage can be wonderful, but when two flawed individuals commit to a lifetime together, it will get messy. How we respond to those moments will make all the difference.
In Ephesians, Paul was speaking to a group of people who had come to realize that their best efforts to please God were not good enough. They understood their sinfulness had earned them a ticket to hell, but God loved them enough to send Jesus to…


There shouldn't only be one winner in an argument  You’ve fallen for the enemy’s tricks if one of you feels defeated and beaten after a disagreement.
You can avoid a lot of damage just by changing your perspective about disagreements. Remember that you both have the same enemy, therefore both of you should not allow the enemy to have any access to what you are building. Don’t open the door for any of his devices, whether it’s by lashing out or putting up a wall.
If your partner points out a character flaw or habit that is not conducive to what you are building, do not go into attack mode. Ask God to give you the patience and the understanding you need to hear about yourself.
Love is not only about hearing someone tell you why they love you 24/7. You will never grow in that kind of environment. Some of us have been hiding behind our success, lack, and image for years. There are some character traits that you never knew were there and there are others which you have been ignori…


Do you want the secret to a Happy Home? Then you need to follow one verse: “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” This one command is the single most important verse regarding marriage and the home. 
I knew a godly man who had been married over fifty years, which at the time seemed like an eternity to me. The interesting thing was the joy, exuberance, and sweet flirtation I always observed in his marriage. I have never forgotten something he practiced.
Each morning, he rose very early to go to work. He would fix the coffee pot and leave a china cup out for his wife, as opposed to his old mug. However, the thing that really stuck with me is that he would leave a little love note underneath her cup and saucer. He would tear a piece of paper towel, a part of an envelope, a newspaper coupon, or whatever was handy and jot a few loving words down for her eyes only. 
Her first encounter every morning was a love note. Noth…


There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear.  So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment. 1 John 4:18
Sometimes, young couples say they want to have a strong marriage and family life because they come from a background where the marriage wasn’t solid. A broken home brought them a lot of pain and heartache, so they’re worried about repeating that. They think, “I don’t have a good model that I grew up in, I’m about to get married, and I’m afraid that someday we might head down the same road.”
I’d like to encourage couples and tell them that we tend to be conformed to our focus. Sometimes when someone has an angry father, they say, “I will never be like that,” and amazingly they turn out to be just like their father, because they lived their entire life focused on him and what they do not want to be.
In the same way, we can do that with marriage, saying, “I saw my parents’ marriage struggle, so I want to make s…


A few years ago, I discovered a tiny stain on the ceiling. After ignoring it for a few months, I decided to investigate. I gently poked the area with my finger and discovered that the drywall was soft.
I then cut a small hole in the ceiling just large enough to fit a hand inside and feel around. When I did, my hand emerged covered in an odd dust I couldn’t identify. As I expanded my access hole to get a better view, I was able to discover the source of the dust … termites.
By the time I was done tracing back the path of destruction, I had completely removed the ceiling, the walls, and two large sections of the adjacent living room. The little critters completely devoured three vertical support beams and severely damaged several joists supporting the second floor. My son’s entire bedroom had been in danger of collapse, but we didn’t even know it. The only thing that had been visible was a small, half-inch stain. From our point of view everything looked fine, but on the inside, our ho…


Most of the struggles we have in marriages are not due to a lack of information. They are due to a lack of obedience to what we already know. 
I’ve had the privilege to shepherd churches for thirty-four years, and I’ve done a lot of marriage counseling. I can tell you that most of the time the people sitting in front of me are not suffering from a lack of information.

They have grasped the information. They could even give you the right answers of how their attitudes ought to be. They just don’t have within them the desire to do what Scripture says, or they don’t know how to live it out. 
Individual Perspective What needs to be in place in your own life if your marriage is to glorify God? What needs to be in place as an individual if you’re to experience the joy, unity, sense of purpose, and worship that God means for marriage to be? Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. This is often how we think, whether we’ll admit it or not. 
“Well, the reason that I responded that way, is because…


If your relationship doesn't have a dimension it's going, then you are making a serious mistake. In every relationship you may have found yourself, please make it a priority to define it.
Make it a priority that it must have a destination, which is either Marriage or just a relationship.
Here is why your relationship must be defined.
When she suggested that we spent the time, (just both of us) in the fellowship Secretariat to wait on the Lord, I THOUGHT SHE NEVER HAD FEELINGS.
When we held hands  in prayer and spoke in tongues of men and angels, (kaka,gbagba,sinsinkokoma...)  I THOUGHT SHE NEVER HAD FEELINGS.
When Ill take her out time after time (for lunch and dinner) so we could discuss strategies on how to win souls over a bottle of malt... I THOUGHT SHE NEVER HAD FEELINGS.
When I will celebrate her birthday and sponsor the cake buying, inviting friends to come and dine,  I thought, SHES SPIRITUAL, " SHE NEVER HAD FEELINGS".
When Ill visit her room alone  and deci…